急急！！！！！！搞笑的英文笑话越搞笑越好，越多越好有奖励的
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,“School-Go slow“.
老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着“学校----慢行“.
Let me take it down
An elephant said to a mouse ,“no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen .“
“Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down .“the mouse said .“I will tell a flea what I know.“
为我所用
一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”
“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。
英文笑话:A guy is not getting along with his wife. He thinks maybe he’d like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop. After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn’t have any feet or legs.
The guy says out loud, “Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot.“
“I was born this way,“ says the parrot. “I’m a defective parrot.“
“Ha, ha,“ the guy laughs. “It sounded like this parrot actually understood what I said and answered me.“
“I understood every word,“ says the parrot. “I am a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird. “
“Yeah?“ the guy asks. “Then answer this: how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?“
“Well,“ the parrot says, “this is a little embarrassing, but since you asked I’ll tell you. I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a little hook. You can’t see it because of my feathers.“
“Wow,“ says the guy, “you really can understand and answer, can’t you?“
“Of course. I speak both Spanish and English. I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any subject: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy ... and I am especially good at ornithology. You ought to buy me. I am a great companion.“
The guy looks at the price tag. “$200!“ he says. “I can’t afford that.“
“Pssst,“ the parrot hisses, motioning the guy over with one wing. “Nobody wants me cause I don’t have any feet. You can get me for $20 -- just make an offer.“
Guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He’s funny, he’s interesting, he’s a great pal, he understands everything, sympathizes, gives good advice. Guy is delighted.
One day guy comes home from work and the parrot says, “pssst,“ and motions him over with one wing. Guy goes up close to the cage.
“I don’t know if I should tell you this or not,“ says the parrot, “but it’s about your wife and the mailman...“
“What?“ says the guy. “What?“
“Well,“ the parrot says, “when the mailman came to the door today your wife greeted him in a sheer nightgown and kissed him on the mouth.“
“What happened then?“ asks the guy.
“Then the mailman came into the house and lifted up the nightgown and began petting her all over,“ reports the parrot.
“Oh No!“ the guy says, “Then what?“
“Then he lifted up the nightgown, got down on his knees and began to lick her body, starting with her breasts and slowly going down and down ...“
The parrot pauses for a long time.
“Then what....what happened Next...WHAT HAPPENED?“ says the frantic guy.
“I don’t know,“ says the Parrot, “I fell off my perch.“
“独立”的英文名词是什么
“独立”的英文名词是Independence。
解释：
英 [ˌɪndɪˈpendəns] 美 [ˌɪndɪˈpɛndəns]
n.独立，自主;足够维持闭居生活的收入;独立心;自恃
noun
[U]
1
~ (from sb/sth)
(of a country 国家) freedom from political control by other countries 独立
Cuba gained independence from Spain in 1898.
古巴于1898年脱离西班牙而获得独立。
2
the time when a country gains freedom from political control by another country 独立（之日）
independence celebrations
独立纪念庆典
the first elections since independence
独立之后的第一次选举
3
the freedom to organize your own life, make your own decisions, etc. without needing help from other people 自主；自立-pssst用英文怎么读
He values his independence.
他珍惜他的独立自主。
a woman’s financial independence
妇女在经济上的自立
反义词： dependence
参考资料
independence.百度翻译[引用时间2018-3-9]
英文名女有哪些呀
如下：
1、【Cynthia】辛西亚
释义“月亮女神”，纯洁、冷艳的象征。御姐风格给人的感觉是身材姣好、面容带酷的女生，多为人心目中的女神，这个名字正好贴合这一感觉，且源自希腊语，较为古典西方化，因此读起来会给人一种洋气的感觉，且这个名字字母组合较为独特，比较个性化。-英文
2、【carrie】卡丽
其他音泽为凯瑞尔，此名字有着carol，caroline等昵称，本身的含义是“快乐的”，给人的印象是有着喜新厌旧的习惯，并且想象力丰富，有着明确的目标，指的自己想要什么，因此是个理想主义者，为人大方慷慨，乐于帮助别人，是一个简单又不俗气的名字。-pssst用英文怎么读
3、【leah】利亚
也可以叫李亚，有着正直，诚信，不善变的寓意，是一个比较酷的女孩，乐于社交，做事很有耐心，不管是做什么事情都有着决心，获得成功，也是一个很有能力的人，适合担任领导的职位。
4、【belle】贝尔
来源于拉丁语、法语，也是个简单又不俗气的名字，给人的感觉是聪慧敏捷，善于分析，是一个理想主义者，喜欢用文字表达自己的思想，名字也有着很好的寓意，与法语单词belle意义“美丽”相关联，因此是个美丽的女生。-英文
5、【taylo】泰勒
这个名字的女生，给人的感觉就是比较酷酷的那种，喜欢户外运动，常常会被大自然的神秘所吸引着，有着独立，自信的魅力，是一个有个性的女生。
